...but what exactly is a patron saint, and who the hell was St George.
Well obviously it's a Christian thing and to explain what they do......well it's kind of like a call centre, you see God is really busy up there in heaven listening to all these prayers and it's not like he can hire a few temps or outsource the business to India or whatever. So to try and deal with your prayers more efficiently you can go through your patron saint, which I guess is sort of like a customer advisor. They're meant to fast track your prayer to the guy upstairs.
This is where Patron Saints come from. St George has been working at the Heavenly call centre now since 303AD, in fact we actually celebrate on his first day of work. He was decapitated by a grumpy Roman Emperor called Diocletian for not killing Christians. So far so good. Anyway, he's now been working as a patron saint in this call centre for the last 1705 years. In that time St George has sort of specialised in dealing with prayers from people with skin conditions, herpes, syphilis and and the English.
According to the UK statistics, STD's have increased a staggering 63% in the UK over the last 10 years.
To be honest, I don't want to be too harsh on the guy but I think this shows that St George has probably lost all enthusiasm for his job. I don't blame him, I temped in a John Lewis call centre over a Christmas once to earn some extra money and it was soul destroying; he's been doing it for over one and a half millenia!
so today, whatever you do, don't forget poor old St George.....the patron saint of skin diseases, syphilis, herpes, plague and.....oh yeah England.
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3 comments:
we should have a bank holiday for our patron saint. It's a national disgrace I tell thee, people celebrate the Mick's day more than ours.
This is the most sensible, genius-like, funniest thing I have ever heard you rant about, and I hear you rant - A LOT
fuck off out of london and go back to england then
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